I used to consider myself a relatively patient person…I mean, I might not list it in my ‘top 5 best qualities’, but I definitely never considered myself an IMPATIENT person.
BUT, WHAT IF I AM? What if having children has highlighted a serious deficiency in my personality? I’m a little frightened. I found myself snapping at my children today for what I am sure are merely toddler infractions: arguing with each other, yelling at the top of their lungs for no apparent reason (beyond the pure joy of making noise), repeating, ‘Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy’ when I am speaking to, oh-that’s-right-ANYONE!, saying ‘no’, or worse – staring me down, when I request something of them, finding the most inopportune moments to demand ‘hold me.’ (which I ALWAYS find nearly-impossible to refuse since I know there will come a time when they won’t want me like that)….OK..clearly I have a very long Mommy-wasn’t-quite-so-patient-today list.
In fact, I think my heart rate is speeding up as I type in pure anticipation of feeling impatient again. Ok…deep breathing works. I know it does, but often forget.
I know, deep down, that most of the things that make me twinge with impatience are just toddler-ese, but I’m thinking there are wonderful, peaceful mothers out there who are able to make it through a day like today without wanting to sit in the time-out corner with a blanket over my head for hours.
My internal dialogue is struggling to take over…reminding me that we are all entitled to a ‘hard day’. Today was mine. (But what if the impatience is permanant? *Gasp!*)
Surely tomorrow will feel more peaceful. Or I will feel more peaceful. Or my children will forget their traditional toddler behavior overnight. No….(deep breath) I want them to stay little as long as I can. Right?