You know that moment when you realize your small people are growing up and, instead of thinking, ‘it is about time!’, you find yourself wondering if it is possible to halt the world on its axis – just for a little while?
Well – welcome to my world.
Today, I was surprised by the feel of this sweet, tiny little hand as it reached up and melded into mine. I instantly swallowed over a lump in my throat. Delaney reaching out to me is such an innocent gesture – and truly, so common. But I was struck by the notion that it won’t always be. Her little hand used to be lost in mine, robbing me of the feeling of her palm and itty-bitty fingers, but not anymore. Now I am aware of every digit. I can feel her thumb as it rubs the base of mine – and her fingers as they spread out, hoping to intertwine, but not quite reaching.
Those little hands have become so capable – they button, write ‘Mom’ and ‘Delaney’, color, open car doors, check out library books, help to push shopping carts, swing a bat, water flowers, dress a doll, help her little brother put his pants back on after using the potty, and of course, they let me know I am necessary.
There will come a day when she no longer wants to hold my hand. I can’t quite imagine it, but I can assure you – I live in fear of that day. But between now and then, I will hold that little hand and kiss those little cheeks as often as she will let me.
I know it won’t last forever, but for now, I can pretend.