Here’s a story that gets me a little fired up. A friend of a friend has a new baby. Baby’s Mommy was on maternity leave….and apparently wanting to head back to work after only a few days. The question constantly coming from her mouth: “Just what do stay at home moms do all day anyway? I would be bored out of my mind.”
I take exception to this for a few reasons….well, scratch that…for ALOT of reasons, but I’ll start with what first comes to mind.
1) I HATE THE STAY-AT-HOME vs. WORKING MOTHER debate. I think we should spend more time building each other up rather than playing the ‘my-way-of-raising-kids-is-better-than-yours’ game. It makes me want to vomit. I call this the “UNDEBATE”.
2) I think it is crucial for each individual family to determine what works best for them! Do you need two incomes to feed and clothe your family? Are you a better mom because you work outside the home? Have you always imagined being there for all of your child’s first moments? Do you think you treasure your time with you kids more than ever because you AREN’T with them all day? Do you, personally, think it is important to stay home? Do you think it is better for your child to have extra socialization with other kids…so working is better? Whatever you decide….that is the RIGHT decision for your family.
3) I chose to stay home with my kids. This was not an easy decision for me. I had a career. If you had asked me, even 7 years ago, if I would stay home when I had kids, I would have looked at you sideways. But things change. My husband and I decided my staying home was right for our family. But it has not been a walk in the park. (well….it has actually been a series of many walks in the park…but, I digress….) Of the years I have spent at home with my kids, I have loved many days, but I have also dreaded many hours.
4) The last thing I am is bored. Our days are always full. Most of the time, they are child-centered (and therefore NOT Mommy centered). We play outside, we play inside, we color, we imagine, we giggle and laugh, we argue and cry, we even watch a little Dora (when Mommy needs a timeout) I also take care of all family errands and projects. While this is definitely not how I imagined my days would be, I know I will be grateful I had this time with my kids.
5) I also know there are many mommys who WISH they could stay home, but can’t. And, it is often that I remind myself how blessed I am to have had the choice.
I have now transitioned to a work-at-home mommy…and that is hard too. Take for example, that Coop is standing outside my office door with his nose pressed up against the glass. Well…and Delaney keeps knocking.
Mommys….for the love….stop competing. Do what you think is best for your family. It won’t be easy, but at least it will feel right for you!
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