It is hard to believe that 15 years ago – right at this very moment, I was heading out to dinner – my pregnant belly bursting through my now too-tight maternity clothes. But though my OB had assured me I was ‘locked up tight’ and going to blow right past my due date (two days away), this turned out to be my last night as a soon-to-be mom.
This was the last night I had to spend anticipating the beauty of her entrance to the world.
Delaney Marra was born one day early on July 10th, 2004.
There have been 5,475 of those days – days she is constantly in my heart. Her smile, she laugh, her silly faces and sense of humor, the gift of watching her play the sports she loves.
How do you make sure that she knows her mind, her heart, her humor and kindness – are not only a true gift, but that she, quite simply, has exceeded any expectation you dreamed for her as she was growing and kicking in your belly? I used to rub my stomach, pushing back gently when she kicked – talking to her in the hopes my voice would be one she recognized when she entered the world.
How do you express the overwhelming sense of pride you feel when you watch her protect and cherish, love and guide her little brother? Hugs. Also – I hope you always hug and laugh together just like this.
How do you apologize for the ways you have failed her?
How do you convince her that the foundation you believe you provided in some of her earliest years will hopefully be the beacon she needs as she continues to grow and mature?
How do you assure her that your love is pure and true, that moms make mistakes too – but it will never take away from the depth of feeling you have for her, the confidence you have in her to follow her heart and the many, many ways she fills you with pride?
I love you so very much.