There was a time you and I shared a heartbeat. I’d love to tell you I feel as though I’ve let that go, but I haven’t. I’m not sure I ever will. I used to sit up at night feeling you move, imagining what you might be like. If I had written a letter to God with a list of what I wanted in a little boy, I can safely tell you, He decided to grant every ask, every prayer.
I suppose it is normal, but bitty-buddy, I am torn – I want you to stay small and I cannot wait to see the young man you are fast becoming.
Take your time. I know you are growing up. I can hear it in the slight changing of your voice. I can see it as we measure you, buying new clothes and shoes. I recognize it in the way your questions about yourself, your friends and the world around you are maturing. But, Buddy… don’t be in a rush. There will be plenty of time for you to be ‘big’.
Get up when you fall – Of course I mean this both literally and figuratively. When you are on the diamond or the basketball court, I trust you to get up when you fall. But I also expect you to dust yourself off when you don’t get the ‘A’ you wanted or the part in the school play. I want you to take a deep breath and try again when your team loses or you don’t make the team you wanted. I want you to aim high – every time, but know that every failure offers a valuable lesson.
Keep your curiosity – I know your dad and I tease you about asking so many questions, but the truth is – I LOVE that you want to know so much about EVERYTHING. I love that you don’t JUDGE – that you want to know more about other cultures, religions, people, world events. Keeping an open mind. Wanting to know more makes you a better human being. I am proud of you.
Allow life to teach you – You know how I have that butterfly tattoo on my wrist? I *think* you know it is to remind me that, like a butterfly, I’m always evolving – always growing and changing (even at my age!). You and your sister are two of the greatest teachers of my life. Continue to allow the people and circumstances around you to offer life lessons and opportunities to grow.
And I’m beyond grateful you still hug me as you do and let me call you, Bitty.
Love, Mom xoxo