I’m having one of those days. (or couple of days)
I’m horrendously disorganized – like ‘can’t-find-my-checkbook-amidst-the-massive-pile-of-papers’ kind of disorganized.
Every time my husband asks me a question, I panic – like, “what time is Coop’s doctor’s appointment tomorrow?” or “do you have you receipts from Vancouver?” or even “are the dishes in the dishwasher clean?” Why do I panic, you ask? Because I DON’T KNOW. I should know these things, right? Doctor’s appointments, receipts, home stuff? But, right now, I don’t.
My house is a disaster zone. Like ‘the-housekeeper-is-on-strike-disaster” except I don’t have a housekeeper, so apparently, I’ve been on strike.
The laundry has been done since 1987.
And dusting? Fuggehtaboutit.
My kids are not listening to me. At all. I say, “Delaney let’s get your homework out so we can get started on it.” and she promptly heads to the cabinet, pulls out a coloring book and sits down next to me to color. So, not only does she ignore me (I still have a voice, right?) but she doesn’t care that she is ignoring me.
The pile of papers I mentioned above? Threatening to take over my life.
And my kids – I adore them, and yet, I have severe mommy guilt. Cooper cracked his head open while I was in Vancouver. Clearly, he is fine – two staples (that come out tomorrow) and he was tackling Daddy and the dog the next day. But I felt (still feel) sad and guilty that I wasn’t here when it happened. Feels like a great big #mommyfail.
We are hard on ourselves, aren’t we?
I’m so empowered by the events of the last four weeks – the traveling, the conversation, the people, the learning, the engaging, the amazing Olympics…..
And yet, I am tired. I am overwhelmed. And I need to focus on breathing. Do you ever have to do that? Just breathe? Well, that’s me.
Barring the dust, laundry and paper fiasco, tomorrow is a new day, yes?