I can still remember the moment she was born.
And when she first whispered, ‘Bit’ – her word (then and now) for her favorite blanket.
I picture her first at-bats.
I’m proud, so very proud, of the young woman she is becoming. She has more self awareness in her pinky finger than I did at her age. I can only hope that means I am doing something right with her.
But friends….time with her is slipping through my fingers like sand on my favorite beach. I’m caught in this crazy, beautiful, terrifying spiral that is watching my time with her fade. When Summertime once stretched before us as though there would always be a ‘next year’, I’m brutally aware of the fact that I have but four more with her before she graduates from HIGH SCHOOL and moves in to an entirely new phase of her life.
The years that she desperately wanted my presence have passed. She spent the better part of this weekend holed up in her room with a good friend. She was not unpleasant, but I’m no longer her go-to. At least not for everything.
This moment is an exercise in letting go, in beginning to trust her, in hoping I will stay a primary north star – smiling as I watch her soar and hugging her when she falls.
In the meantime, you can bet, I’m going to roll around in these next four summer and hope she and I can make crazy, beautiful memories that carry her in to college and beyond.
Wishing you (and any graduates in your world) the very best of everything.
What are you going to do in these final summers?