(A little story from Daddy about this past weekend’s trip to the NYC and The Early Show)
Dear Potty Training Manual-
“Daddy, I have to go potty.” Oh, boy, we’ve all heard these words a thousand times, and they usually are said at the most inopportune moments.
I heard these words this past Friday morning at exactly 7:32am eastern time while getting ‘mic’d’ prior to going on Live National Television on the set of the CBS’ “Early Show”.
Let’s jump in our Delorean and go back in time a few days.
Producer Sarah: “Smiths are due on the set in 9 minutes.”
7:32am and 1 second
Cooper (3yr old who is potty training): “Daddy, I have to go potty.”
7:32am and 2 seconds
Daddy (Me): “Oh crap.”
7:32am and 3 seconds
Cooper: “No daddy, pee-pee.”
Ryan (man in charge of making sure we’re on set for our Live Shot at 7:41am): “Oh crap.”
Daddy: “No Ryan, pee-pee.”
Ryan (yelling to no one in particular): “Anyone know a short cut to the restroom?
Editor’s Note: The News Set was located on the flight deck of the USS Intrepid Aircraft Carrier. All restrooms were located in the barracks, 2 flights of stairs down, thus approximately a 4 minute walk from where we were located when Cooper mentioned that “nature was calling…the wrong number.”
Nameless Worker aka “The Savior”: “Yes, I know a shortcut, follow me.”
Producer Sarah: “Ryan, please, please, please have them back here in 6 minutes.”
Ryan: “Oh crap.”
Cooper: “No, Mr. Ryan, I said pee-pee.”
The Savior: “Let’s run.”
Editor’s Note: It was pouring down rain as the Daddy, 3yr old son, Ryan, and the Savior all go running, er sliding across the flight deck towards a back set of stairs. They arrive at the restroom in 10.1 seconds. Carl Lewis would be proud. Cooper sits down on potty.
Cooper: “Daddy, I’m having fun.”
Daddy: “Me too, Coop, you kind of have to hurry.”
Cooper: “I like Mr. Ryan, he’s nice.”
Daddy: “Me too, but you really need to hurry, so Mr. Ryan has a job after today.”
Cooper: “I also like Baseball, and candy, and cake, and … “
Cooper: “All done, let’s go”
Editor’s Note: Cooper emptied his entire bladder in less than 24 seconds. The NBA shot clock never buzzed.
Daddy: “All done, Mr. Ryan”
Ryan: “Let’s go, please, hurry.”
Cooper: “Mr. Ryan, I like you.”
The Savior: “Mr. Ryan likes you too Coop, now let’s run everyone. Follow me!!!”
Editor’s Note: The quartet scurries up the stairs, skates across the flight deck, and arrives safely with one 3yr old’s bladder on “E” at precisely 7:39am. Two minutes to spare. In TV time, that’s an eternity.
Producer Sarah (talking to the still employed Ryan): “Thank goodness. You’re all back. You’re on in less than 2 minutes. You scared the crap out of me.”
Cooper: “No Miss Producer Sarah, I said pee-pee” J